It's half term, where's the routine? What happens when our routine takes itself away? we are so defined by how we set up our lives it can seem a bit of an "edge of cliff" time if we're not careful. There is structure everywhere, whether we like it or not, and it serves as a form of security for us as life chucks a seemingly never ending jobs list our way. And if not, a bit of a break from the list by being immersed in one of the jobs itself.. Now I'm bringing in my old friends FOMO & JOMO into the conversation, I feel their contributions could be useful if not a little misunderstood... FOMO- the fear of missing out.
We are social beings, and need each other. Yes, even the hermits a little bit. but even the most stoic of us can have a twinge of "what am I missing" I know some of you might be saying I'm enjoying missing the party or wedding or yoga lesson, or whatever joy someone else is indulging in, but this fear is a state of anxiety that should not be too easily dismissed. It can be quite toxic if we let it.
Chances are we have made a decision which allows us to be more productive at work, therefore missing out on that beach trip your friends are going on. Or you are just ourtright tired, and cant be bothered, and then proceed to wallow in feeling the "misisng out" thing, but you cant moan because its all your choice. Do you see yourself as a lone wolf? Possibly not if you're a FOMO'er
..But here's a question... do others see you as a lone wolf? .. Maybe?
We'll come back to that.. Identity has a place here. Fear
Fear is one of the 3 poisons in the heart of Buddhist philosophy, I know, it's a bit dark, but then if you look at the foundations of Buddhism- there are a lot of different kinds of suffering, so getting accustomed to this helps the rest of existence look a lot prettier.
What are we missing out on? did we make a decision? have a sliding doors moment? an epiphany? that makes us think that what we are doing is somehow less than what we should be doing? or deserve to be doing.
I know Im not alone in thinking "what if.." but really theres not much juice to be squeezed out of that old fruit. JOMO- The Joy of missing out
Anything with Joy in it has my attention, there are so many joys to be had in all our choices no matter what everyone else has decided to do. and no matter how much we are enjoying being grumpy, there is also joy in that. So if you come across someone else having a FOMO moment, I'd encourage a bit of JOMO. Grannie
I visited my granny yesterday who is nearly 106 years old. She still has plenty of marbles, and as we sat there in the shade talking about Italy and lovely things, one of her friends who hasn't so many marbles in a row, came stumbling up asking questions and getting anxious, granny said:
"Now Jan, pull yourself together, its nothing to fret about"
Jan had a massive smile after that, all those jumbled thoughts were given a little holiday, she then went off to find biscuits I think.
I mention it, because such few words can be so effective in helping others relinquish the imagination of what might be for the truth of what is. ..and the lone wolf? ..So often what we think we are what we have painted ourselves to be- our "identity" is perceived as something else, and honestly since Stoics have been mentioned, I'm going there. "Stoics view other people's opinions as external, fluctuating and entirely outside your control. Because you cannot force others to think well of you, Stoicism argues that tethering your self-worth or happiness to their approval is irrational. True peace comes from focusing only on your own virtues and actions".
Daily Stoic. Friday night
So, here we are, Friday evening, & I am possibly going dancing tonight with a friend, there might be ping pong.. however she might not come, others might come, I might eat too much pasta and want to walk instead, or vegetate in my hammock reading till it gets dark... crikey, the future is so confusing if too many thoughts get involved!
In this instance, and I am reluctant to say this, sometimes it is better not to be inspired and to let time choose for us. | 
